Julie gave me one last sympathetic look and walked out of the room. I looked down at what I was holding in my hand, a crumpled small piece of paper. It was much more than just crumpled piece of notebook paper, though. This note was a portal to the life that I could've-should've-would've had. I guess there was no point in analyzing the note all day, wondering what might be written on it. So I opened it and let my eyes skim quickly over the perfect and precise writing that I wish I had.
The little girl you've been holding is my baby. Right now, I just can't take care of her and I need to get my life back on track. I hope that when I am in the place that I want to be, I will find her or she will find me. I just love her so much....Treat her well, please.
P.S. Her name is Leenor
I could not control the tears that had welled up in my eyes. I let them stream down my face and didn't even try to control them. Before I knew it I was sobbing like I had never sobbed before. Seemed like it had just hit me that I had a mom, a real mom, somewhere, she wasn't just a thing of my imagination. The more I cried questions came to my mind that I would ask my mother if we ever happened to meet. Why did you name me Leenor? What is my ethnicity? What is my real last name? Why didn't you ever call? Then I came to a stark realization. I'm never going to find my mother. I must be crazy!! She has probably forgotten I exist, I mean it's been 11 years, and has some nice family somewhere else. Most peoples lives change a lot in that amount of time.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Grease
This year is my first year that I've ever had an elective other than band, at least. I was pretty sure I was going to like drama because I always loved to act. When our class decided we were going to perform the classic play, Grease, I knew it for sure. My friend Nicole and I both got the roles we wanted. She was Danny and I was her best friend Kenickie, it was perfect.
To get our play to performance quality we had to rehearse a lot. Our rehearsals went through many different stages. Our first rehearsal stage, everybody was using their scripts, and there was no acting going on. The second rehearsal stage was a little better, everyone still had there scripts, but they were acting and singing a lot more expressively. Rehearsal stage three was definitely the best of all, though. By then, everyone knew their lines and had good energy on stage. Although we were never perfect , this stage was as close as we were going to get.
One of the biggest challenges we had while preparing to perform the play was attendance. At least one person from the cast was absent every day, so we always had to use and understudy during rehearsals. I mean, Kelsey J. (Rizzo) had walking pneumonia and was absent almost two weeks! We even had to change the person who was to play Mrs. Lynch.
The biggest scare we had with someone being absent, was when Abby (Roger) hadn't come to school for a few days . She still hadn't come back on the day before the play, and when we tried to reach her , no one picked up. We then were going to use Ashley as Roger, but she did not know any of the lines.
It was the day of the play, and I was nervous, not because I didn't know my lines, though. I was nervous that someone else might mess up and ruin a part of the play. I also might have been a little bit nervous about singing "Greased Lightnin'," in front of a lot of people. Also, I was nervous that the "new" Roger might make the play seem a little unreahearsed. Suddenly, in the midst of all this worrying, someone told me something that made me very happy.
One of my fellow cast members, Libya, came rushing down the hall with a very big smile.
"What is going on?" I asked.
"Abby is here," she exclaimed.
I was so happy! Once I told my friend Nicole she was ecstatic. Well, anyways, now that we had the whole cast it was time for the show.
Our play was to start in about five minutes. I had uncontrollable butterflies, I didn't even know why. The main cast all knew that when the song "Grease" came on, it was time for us to run out, into the auditorium. So we were just waiting, and listening intently.
To get our play to performance quality we had to rehearse a lot. Our rehearsals went through many different stages. Our first rehearsal stage, everybody was using their scripts, and there was no acting going on. The second rehearsal stage was a little better, everyone still had there scripts, but they were acting and singing a lot more expressively. Rehearsal stage three was definitely the best of all, though. By then, everyone knew their lines and had good energy on stage. Although we were never perfect , this stage was as close as we were going to get.
One of the biggest challenges we had while preparing to perform the play was attendance. At least one person from the cast was absent every day, so we always had to use and understudy during rehearsals. I mean, Kelsey J. (Rizzo) had walking pneumonia and was absent almost two weeks! We even had to change the person who was to play Mrs. Lynch.
The biggest scare we had with someone being absent, was when Abby (Roger) hadn't come to school for a few days . She still hadn't come back on the day before the play, and when we tried to reach her , no one picked up. We then were going to use Ashley as Roger, but she did not know any of the lines.
It was the day of the play, and I was nervous, not because I didn't know my lines, though. I was nervous that someone else might mess up and ruin a part of the play. I also might have been a little bit nervous about singing "Greased Lightnin'," in front of a lot of people. Also, I was nervous that the "new" Roger might make the play seem a little unreahearsed. Suddenly, in the midst of all this worrying, someone told me something that made me very happy.
One of my fellow cast members, Libya, came rushing down the hall with a very big smile.
"What is going on?" I asked.
"Abby is here," she exclaimed.
I was so happy! Once I told my friend Nicole she was ecstatic. Well, anyways, now that we had the whole cast it was time for the show.
Our play was to start in about five minutes. I had uncontrollable butterflies, I didn't even know why. The main cast all knew that when the song "Grease" came on, it was time for us to run out, into the auditorium. So we were just waiting, and listening intently.
Runaway Part VII
"What did she look like, my mother?"
Julie looked at me, her expression was not a surprised one, she knew that was coming. She let out a long sigh and sat down in the small chair in the room.
"Oh, honey. She was beautiful. Her face looked just like yours and so did her features. With piercing green eyes, exactly the same as yours, you could have been sisters."
Julie had been staring at the chair's armrest, but just then she looked up into my eyes. I felt an incredible loving thankfulness to her. She was the one person who could actually connect me, in some way, to my mother. Even if it was in a small way, what did it matter? Julie continued with her description,
"She had auburn-brown hair, with the slightest curl."
Why couldn't my hair look like that? I guess that is what Julie meant when she said our faces looked alike.
"Did she tell you where she lived?" I was trying to be hopeful, but I strongly doubted the answer would be yes.
"No"
That answer didn't surprise me but yet it still made my eyes start to water with disappointment. I mean the chances of me finding my mother were just so slim. It hit me hardest, then, that I may never know my mother, ever. Julie interrupted my thoughts.
"You know, I'm going to leave and give you some time to process all this and to read the note."
Julie looked at me, her expression was not a surprised one, she knew that was coming. She let out a long sigh and sat down in the small chair in the room.
"Oh, honey. She was beautiful. Her face looked just like yours and so did her features. With piercing green eyes, exactly the same as yours, you could have been sisters."
Julie had been staring at the chair's armrest, but just then she looked up into my eyes. I felt an incredible loving thankfulness to her. She was the one person who could actually connect me, in some way, to my mother. Even if it was in a small way, what did it matter? Julie continued with her description,
"She had auburn-brown hair, with the slightest curl."
Why couldn't my hair look like that? I guess that is what Julie meant when she said our faces looked alike.
"Did she tell you where she lived?" I was trying to be hopeful, but I strongly doubted the answer would be yes.
"No"
That answer didn't surprise me but yet it still made my eyes start to water with disappointment. I mean the chances of me finding my mother were just so slim. It hit me hardest, then, that I may never know my mother, ever. Julie interrupted my thoughts.
"You know, I'm going to leave and give you some time to process all this and to read the note."
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Runaway Part VI
"I wanted to give this to you. It's from your mother."
These words shocked me. How could there be a note from my mother? I had so many questions, how old is this note, does this note mean I can find my real mother?
"How.....how long have you had this note? Did you just get it recently?"
The reply came quickly.
"11 years, or at least how ever since you came to Dwindley's."
This answer made no sense. How many times had I asked, if they had anything from my real family. Countless times they told me I was dropped off on a doorstep with no note, not a thing. This was when I learned that people lie, so they can "protect" you, from harsh truths. I wouldn't call this protecting at all, though. It was just hurting me even more.
"Why have you kept this note secret, for all these years?"
I knew that the anger burning inside of me was translating in my voice. I could tell Julie knew I was mad, that nervous look in her eyes had changed to an apologetic one. Well, what did she expect, for me not to be even a bit angry,to let the constant lie that had lasted over 11 years, to just roll off my shoulder? That was not going to happen, I am not that type of person. Julie answered my question after a long pause.
"I don't know why it was wrong, I know . To keep that one thing from your mother away from you. I....I....just thought it might be better that way. I am so sorry."
I saw her eyes starting to water. She really did feel bad. I couldn't carry an angry tone anymore. At least she gave the note to me now instead of never. The one question I had always wanted answered I asked then.
These words shocked me. How could there be a note from my mother? I had so many questions, how old is this note, does this note mean I can find my real mother?
"How.....how long have you had this note? Did you just get it recently?"
The reply came quickly.
"11 years, or at least how ever since you came to Dwindley's."
This answer made no sense. How many times had I asked, if they had anything from my real family. Countless times they told me I was dropped off on a doorstep with no note, not a thing. This was when I learned that people lie, so they can "protect" you, from harsh truths. I wouldn't call this protecting at all, though. It was just hurting me even more.
"Why have you kept this note secret, for all these years?"
I knew that the anger burning inside of me was translating in my voice. I could tell Julie knew I was mad, that nervous look in her eyes had changed to an apologetic one. Well, what did she expect, for me not to be even a bit angry,to let the constant lie that had lasted over 11 years, to just roll off my shoulder? That was not going to happen, I am not that type of person. Julie answered my question after a long pause.
"I don't know why it was wrong, I know . To keep that one thing from your mother away from you. I....I....just thought it might be better that way. I am so sorry."
I saw her eyes starting to water. She really did feel bad. I couldn't carry an angry tone anymore. At least she gave the note to me now instead of never. The one question I had always wanted answered I asked then.
Runaway Part V
Why am I suddenly feeling that I must escape? You may be wonder. Well, you see, maybe two or three days ago, something happened, that may have changed my life forever.
Oh, it was just another hustle-bustle day at Dwindley's. With all the toddlers playing their games of tag, out in the sun. A few teenage boys playing on the old video game console, in the living room. Their eyes stuck to the screen of the small 17" T.V. Then, there was me, alone in my room listening to my radio, and in a way spacing out. I had started to think about what type of people my parents were. I was hoping they were not people who dropped me off years ago, and had forgotten about me by now. I hoped that they were nice people, that would come to Dwindley's tomorrow and take me "home." Whatever that really is.
Suddenly, my thinking was disrupted, by the sound of the creaking hinges on my door, someone was opening it. I looked towards it. Julie, one of the headmistresses at Dwindley's, was standing in the doorway, holding a piece of paper. She had a slight smile on her face, but a nervous look in her eyes. She walked over to me and handed me the piece of paper.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Runaway Part IV
I looked down at the baby. She looked a lot like her mom with piercing green eyes. Her hair was just a bit darker and more red. I walked to the baby room of the orphanage. She, the baby, stayed perfectly quite the whole time, I was surprised. I placed her in one of the cribs in the baby room. I took the crumpled piece of paper from her hand. I opened the note and read what it said.
The little girl you've been holding is my baby, Leenor. Right now, I just can't take care of her and before I can I need to get my life back on track. I hope that when I am in the place that I want to be, I will find her or she will find me, just we will find each other. I just love her so much. Treat her well, please.
-Mariah
I folded the letter up. When I looked back down into the crib, Leenor was fast asleep. The letter interested me, saddened me, and left with a lot of questions. Should I ever give this letter to Leenor? Obviously her mother wants her to find her someday. Oh, I just didn't know.
The little girl you've been holding is my baby, Leenor. Right now, I just can't take care of her and before I can I need to get my life back on track. I hope that when I am in the place that I want to be, I will find her or she will find me, just we will find each other. I just love her so much. Treat her well, please.
-Mariah
I folded the letter up. When I looked back down into the crib, Leenor was fast asleep. The letter interested me, saddened me, and left with a lot of questions. Should I ever give this letter to Leenor? Obviously her mother wants her to find her someday. Oh, I just didn't know.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Runaway Part III
My name is Julie. I am a headmistress at Dwindley's orphanage. And I'm not sure if what I have just done was the complete right thing to do. You see, I just gave Leenor, an orphan, a letter, from her real mother, that I received when she was a baby. All this rambling probably doesn't make any sense to you, though. Here, let me start from the beginning about 11 years ago.
The doorbell rang, just once, the sound of it rang through the orphanage.
"Coming!" I yelled just in case the person thought no one was home.
When I opened the white door, a woman in between 20 and 23 years old, was standing there. She wasn't an amazing beauty but in a way she was, if that makes sense. Her eyes were bright, bright green! Auburn hair framed her face and her skin had a light golden tan. In her eyes, though, you could almost see a sadness, I did not know why, yet.
In her arms, there was a baby girl, or maybe I should call her an infant, I'd say she was about 2. In the infant's hand was a crumpled piece of paper. The woman, whose name I still did not know, handed me the child. She then turned and started to walk down the steps.
"Wait!" I shouted at her. "Wait, please, wait, what is your name?!" She did not turn around and she did not answer, she just kept walking away.
The doorbell rang, just once, the sound of it rang through the orphanage.
"Coming!" I yelled just in case the person thought no one was home.
When I opened the white door, a woman in between 20 and 23 years old, was standing there. She wasn't an amazing beauty but in a way she was, if that makes sense. Her eyes were bright, bright green! Auburn hair framed her face and her skin had a light golden tan. In her eyes, though, you could almost see a sadness, I did not know why, yet.
In her arms, there was a baby girl, or maybe I should call her an infant, I'd say she was about 2. In the infant's hand was a crumpled piece of paper. The woman, whose name I still did not know, handed me the child. She then turned and started to walk down the steps.
"Wait!" I shouted at her. "Wait, please, wait, what is your name?!" She did not turn around and she did not answer, she just kept walking away.
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